Added pictures and location maps – 7 August 2019 11:001
FIRST STORY – Guided Missile Attack
Most of my life my “big boobs” were rather a burden on me, and for more than one reason, and considering that fate prevented me from having any children, I often thought about WHY ME and what for, am I having such big boobs, and the heavy weight was weighing on my poor back too.
I always wished I had “small boobs” like some of my friends. Even thought about “reduction” surgery….even consulted a surgeoon…until I saw images on the internet of what is involved… “Pfui Teufel… ” I thought to myself, not on my dead body.
One day, when I was complaining to a friend about my big boobs…she said to me “if you have them flaunt them”….and from that day on, I started flaunting them…including “push up” bra, as opposed to a “minimizer” bra before that day. The push up bra, I really didn’t need, making my C size look like DD…and one button too many, left unbuttoned…because another friend said to me “na wenn schon dann schon”
But it was a “life saving” experience, that really made me appreciate having “big boobs”.
So here is what happened…
At the same location as my Geladas Story
I am busy preparing our “outdoor” sitting area for camping…taking out a ground blanket…the cushion of my companion the Chihuahua by the name of Cappuccino…etc… Cappuccino never more than 2 meter away from me, sniffing around..and I am always, with ONE EYE, like a scanning radar, looking out for any “danger” for him…snakes, scorpions…and the like…
Me, I had a mental “leash” on Cappuccino, he never ventured more than 2 meters away from me…
Then, in a split nano-second reaction, more a premonition click in my brain… I make a big leap…jumping and landing on top of Cappuccino…me face down…flat on the gravel ground…head first, like jumping into a swimming pool, with all the cuts and bruises to my face…including a big “dooof” sound when my fore head hit the ground…Cappuccino squashed beneath me…and I could feel the air rushing above my head…something like a flying guided missile, flying past my head and missing me by a “hair”.
I almost knocked myself unconscious, hitting the ground fore head first.
My first thought was, I squashed Cappuccino dead.
Imagine 70+ Kg jumping and landing on top of 1700 Gram.
But… Cappuccino survived…he was sheltered and cushioned by my “big boobs”…which were squashed and took a painful hit too.
What was the flying object, that was flying like a guided missile toward Cappuccino… A very BIG BLACK BIRD of PREY..almost scalped me.
SECOND STORY – “your boobs are bigger than any man’s balls”
Well, my SECOND big boobs Autovilla story is more professional.
My last paid “professional” job before going on a long planed year-long travel with my Autovilla, and before my planned leaving of South Africa, I was doing forensic financial investigation work as part of a small team.
I remember driving the Autovilla to the interview, which was arranged by a head-hunting agency, and Cappuccino, as always, being part of me, in his Kangaroo Pocket, between my 2 big boobs.
So I enter the office of my future boss, and he is reaching out his hand to greet me…and Cappuccino goes viciously for his hand…and if not for his quick reaction, there would have been blood…and I apologize and say “sorry…this is my bodyguard and personal assistant…and he is part of the deal… you get 2 for the price of one.”.
So we smile politely, and I can see, he is certainly amused by the “unconventional” appearance of a candidate for the job he is about to offer me…and I am fully aware of it.He smiles. I smile. Mind you, of course he had seen my CV before hand.
So I settle Cappuccino down, on his cushion, laying out a water bowl, and some munchies for him…he first goes sniffing around the small but “posh” office…and after all the excitement, he settles down on his cushion.
My future boss, one of the TOP GUN forensic Legal Eagles cum CPA investigators, at that time in South Africa, a good looking, unassuming humble man, maybe in his mid 40’s, he was leading a small team of him +4 forensic investigators, his firm, having been hired by the Attorney General of South Africa at the time, to do a “job” for the AG.
All I knew about the Job, was what the Job Agency told me. I was told that I am going to be doing a 6 months contract job for that FIRM. Some forensic investigation type work. Something I am passionate about anyway… no clue what and who I will be investigating.
So my future boss, opens by saying “I should tell you upfront, that this is a DANGEROUS job, what about “family” do you have any? are you living with “family”?”
And me, in a “you are not serious” mood and “jokingly” get up from my chair on one side of his mahogany desk, and I walk to the window…and say “please come, I want to show you something…” and I point to the Autovilla parked among the many “glitzi” you know the type of cars parked in the parking lot of one of the BIG 5 Accounting Firms, in the world… and I say to him, you have met my body guard, the only “family” I have, and what he can do, you know now too…and there, in my Autovilla, is a Taurus 38 special, legal and licensed, and DANGER I say to him… I know a thing or two about it…faced it too…and I continue amused…what can be so dangerous sitting in an office in front of two or three monitors…aside from the fact that this BIG SHINY MARBLE CLAD OFFICE BUILDING of yours is like a “FORTRESS”?
And as I am walking back to my chair…a thought crossed my mind, maybe he is not joking… I mean, I am talking South-Africa, I am talking to a man, who I am fully aware, who he is, and what he is, a serious man, a man who would have NO TIME for “jokes”…and I almost felt, as if I overextended my welcome… and NOW I am really curios…and ALL EARS.
So I lost my “amused” attitude … now like a serious candidate for the job, I sit down, and I answer his question… I live in a beautiful Little Flat in Simons-Town, on the second floor of a Building overlooking the Bay…and my only family, you met.
So he says to me… still no word what it is about… you may have to leave your flat, and go and live, maybe with some “friends” for a while, do you have any such friends. you could move in with temporarily? …and I say… if indeed it is that dangerous…why would I want to “endanger” my friends and their family too. I feel safe and secure where I live. I can hear the whales “singing” in the bay, and i can see the parking lot in front of the building ,and I can see who is coming and going.
And he goes… we may have to put you in police protective custody…would you be willing to do it? and I say… no way… I don’t trust the police. Seen to many movies. Don’t worry about me. I am fine where I am. I am just a “little old lady” with a Chihuahua, driving an Autovilla…I am no threat to anyone…no one is going to look for me.
So now…that that’s out of the way…he tells me what the “job” is about. It is getting financial forensic evidence to help the Attorney General of South-Africa, to help him nail some Chinese/Taiwanese Mafiosis, fishing way and above their quotas, and sometimes no quotas, just illegally, and robing the sea around South-Africa of fish.
And I am thinking to myself… the singing whale mothers, who come to give birth in the bay where I live, and which I hear sometimes singing…will have no fish to feed their babies….not to speak of the sea lions, penguins…all of them my neighbors…
And I said to him…great… I don’t mind leaving this earth…knowing my last doing was helping to save the fish in the ocean.
He of course, was not aware, I was suicidal just a month or two before that… and still did not really care much, if I go, sooner rather than later. I was “STUMM” about that for sure, and for years to come.
And I got the JOB.
Another dream job in a long career of mine.
Small team… our boss + 3 guys and and me, an “older Autovilla driving lady, with long grey hair”, and of course, Cappuccino was accepted as part of the team too.
Cappuccino, was actually very helpful too, and did his bit to increase our “productivity” and “moral”. If not for him… our heads would be down…non-stop… and never just 9-5, so when nature called, and Cappuccino needed to go out… every one would raise their heads…and we say in a chorus… “Cappuccino time”… and I would go out for a walk…and they get up and stretch their legs too…getting us a new tray of 4 fresh Cappuccinos… and so on and so on…
Our Boss, reported about our investigation, straight AND ONLY to the Attorney General directly, and only face to face, when the AG flew in weekly or bi-weekly into Cape Town, and into our Office Building, and just for that meeting, about our investigation…following the MONEY into the near and far ends of the world…. fishing and collecting numbers as to HOW many TONS were reported as FISHED…if at all…and HOW MANY TONS were actually SOLD and to WHOM…. Well known “supermarket shelf brands” from “civilized” countries like Norway, Germany… etc among the BUYERS of illegally fished FISH, at that time.
AND as you can imagine… my reader, we are talking, not just TONS of FISH… we are talking TONS of MONEY…
And for less than TONS of MONEY… people DO “kill” anyone trying to stop the flow of TONS of DIRTY MONEY into their pockets.
SO THAT is the CONTEXT and BACKGROUND to what HAPPENED
AND YES, we managed to help the Attorney General NAIL the BAD ONES, you can lookup the newspaper headlines at that time, around the year 2000.
AND in a way getting that job SAVED my life.
So I could also paraphrase it and say that
HELPING TO SAVE THE FISH IN THE OCEAN SAVED MY LIFE !
AND indeed it turned out to be DANGEROUS work…
For the first 2 months or so…. nothing happened TO ME.
Every day, I was driving the Autovilla to Work, from my flat in Simons-Town, to the FORTRESS on the outskirts of Cape-Town. Sometimes taking the route thru the mountains…sometime along the coast along Chapman’s Peak Drive.
Anyone who has driven these routes, knows how beautiful and stunning they are. What a nice commute.
NO ONE could have been happier. I LOVED my job and the team.
I HATED, and was sick on my stomach, when SEEING the numbers we FOUND of THE TONS of FISH that were fished illegally and SOLD for TONS of MONEY.
The really “nice” moments the 4 of us had, during hours and hours of looking at numbers, shipping records, and many other documents….and searching… and following the MONEY, was when one of us called out “got you”…and the other 3 would rush to look what the one of us found…and that lead to more “got you” moments….and so on and so on…
NO ONE KNEW what I was involved in, except for the 5 of us….at first.
If anyone asked me, I was doing some “boring accounting” job.
A little old lady, driving a little old Autovilla, why and HOW would ANYONE know what I was DOING?
I felt SAFE.
MY BOSS’s FIRM paid the agency for “services rendered”…I received my pay check from the agency… the agency knew from me, I was doing some “boring accounting” job.
I WAS NEVER on the books of that ONE of the BIG 5 FIRM…and by design.
I became aware early on, that there are “other” parallel investigations going on, police investigations…etc…but obviously I KNEW NO DETAILS…
My boss asked me… and the other 3…in our morning meetings, first thing in the morning, daily…his first question was always “did you notice anything unusual? any one following you?”…and I would say… “no nothing”…He was worried about our safety… I was conscious of potential “danger”, outside of the FORTRESS , my eyes always scanning like a “radar”, what is going on around me, vehicles ahead of me and behind me… I felt nonchalant about it all. I FELT SAFE.
THAT life of mine, being a mix of “happy” moments, and “being sick on my stomach” at the same time, when SEEING the numbers, was one night SUDDENLY interrupted.
AND for the FIRST TIME, I faced REAL FEAR…and just, so you my reader understand… I have been in dangerous situations before in my life, and have been fearful more than once before…for sure…I am not one to PANIC easily, nor can I remember, if I ever before experienced a PANIC ATTACK, or knew what REAL PANIC and REAL FEAR and TERROR, feels like. One friend nicknamed me “cool cat”.
BUT this time, THIS was different…
For the FIRST TIME I faced TERROR, REAL FEAR and PANIC ATTACKS
AND I HAD to DEAL with IT
Early on, maybe a week or two into my job, I became aware, reading in the newspapers, that an “accountant”, who worked previously for the Mafiosis, and who was allegedly collaborating with the Attorney General and Police investigation, was shot dead, over the fence, in his back garden, in front of his family, on a Sunday, while having a family Braai (South African for bar-b-q).
I was aware, that 2 of my team mates were living in a police protected location, and commuting to work in a police car. My other team mate was “hiding” somewhere too.
My boss chose the team carefully. The 4 of us, none had immediate family…husband,wife, kids… My boss was a man on a mission… the 4 of us had a “kamikaze” attitude toward our mission. In private, we made jokes about ourselves, being “the kamikazes.”
ONE NIGHT… about two months into my job… around 3 am, my LANDLINE phone rings, I pick up the phone, me still half asleep, totally NON COMPOS MENTIS…mind you the LANDLINE…it was just there to connect me to the internet…and I hardly gave out that number to anyone,..remember I am an Autovilla travelling kind of mariposa.
The caller, a man, says “next time you go out in the morning with your little dog, we shoot him first and than you”… and hung up.
WHAT HAPPENED next in a brief summary…
My phone was tapped by the police…but obviously the calls were short…and even more threatening…telling me what I was wearing when I got out of the Autovilla when I arrived home or was wearing in the morning..
A police car arrived every morning before I got out with Cappuccino, and escorted me driving the Autovilla to the FORTRESS in the morning, and back home after work. They went into my flat…checked everything was fine,,, and left until the next morning. No more “scenic drives”, now it was the fastest route, a “high way” commute.
I was living behind closed curtains with no light except a little torch and my Taurus 38 special on me at all time “griffbereit”. Every time I hear a car being parked in the parking area…I go and look barely moving the dark curtains and making sure I am sheltered, by the little bit of wall surrounding the Big floor to ceiling windows. Writing down licensee plates numbers of unfamiliar cars..and calling the police if an unfamiliar car arrived or drove by our apartment block.
I had a few neighbors, I was friendly with…and they were asking questions… police every morning and evening… why… and I said… an ex boyfriend is stalking me and threatening me…and asked them to be on the look out for “unfamiliar” cars, and write down the license plates. Especially one couple, retired. they were living in a ground floor flat…and always sitting by the huge floor to ceiling windows…with views of the bay…and the the road leading to our block of flats, SOLENT COURT, on Runciman Drive, in Simon’s-Town, and the parking area in front of our building too.
AND THE VIEW
BUT the PANIC ATTACKS were the worst. I went to see a doctor and was prescribed beta blockers and sleeping pills, for the first time in my life. They helped a little. I tried to pretend I was cool…but I was not. And so it went for a few weeks…until one day, I decided, somehow I have to break the cycle… I really did not know how to deal with such terror… so I bought a “HOW TO” book… how to conquer fear….
I never read the whole book… at the very beginning…it said something that I understood to be like that… “perpetrator of terror feed on the victim being afraid…to break the cycle the victim has to SHOW them, that one is not afraid.” BUT I WAS AFRAID.
So…I wrote a little speech and practiced it…because I knew…I could hardly breath when the phone will ring…and I had the piece of paper stand by for the next call…still shivering and hyperventilating, and barely able to speak… I said to them… “you cowards… come and show your faces… I am not afraid of you… please come and get me and my dog… I promise you… you may hit us… but me and my 38 special…we will get one or two of you too… and I hung up the phone…before they could say a word.
I could not believe I actually managed to say what I said. I was still hyperventilating…but I said it…and it felt good. THE FEAR still there…
For the first time in weeks I was able to take a DEEP BREATH.
I don’t think my boss was aware of the severity of my panic attacks. I only admitted to him that I have trouble sleeping…and that was my “official” reason, which I told him, why I went to see a doctor….who gave me beta blockers and sleeping pills.
As usual, with a police car escorting us, I arrive next morning at the FORTRESS.
I open the door to my boss’s office, where we always met first thing in the morning, and he and my 3 team mates, are on their feet, giggling and laughing, as Cappuccino and me enter the office, and 8 giggling man eyes are looking straight at my boobs…and snapping their fingers… pointing at my boobs…and saying WOW…
So I am thinking…maybe a button…or something… but no… I always…left one button more unbuttoned…just enough… to flaunt…
So I am asking… “Why and what are you all laughing at…?”
And this is what my boss said to me:
“your boobs are bigger than any man’s balls !!!”
Mind you, he had good reason to say what he said….
BECAUSE he received the nightly reports from the police, including recorded phone conversations, as he did every morning…and they all listened to, and replayed, what I said on the phone…a few hours before.
The terror phone calls stopped. The police continued to escort me in my commute to work. I was still fearful… but I conquered the panic attacks.
If you want to know what panic attack symptoms look like…please click on the link HERE, I had ALL the symptoms. It actually took me a while to understand…that I was having panic attacks. I mean I heard the word “panic attack” before in my life… but never really KNEW what it meant. I had to google my symptoms..and connect the dots… to arrive at my own diagnosis that I was actually having PANIC ATTACKS. I did faint once or twice too…thankfully while at home…and I thought I was just tired.